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Summer

In Prague, Summertime on September 15, 2011 at 6:34 pm

OK, I know disliking summer might not be the best way to kick off a new blog. After all, who doesn’t love summer? Ice cream, pools, the shore, lots of tanned bare skin, long days, sultry nights. Etcetera. Etcetera.

Me–that’s who.

Sure, there was a long time in my life when I liked the warmer months. No school, no shoes, no shirt. But that was also a long time ago. I’m not in school any more, my feet hurt if I walk without shoes, and I need the shirt to hide a waist size that’s rapidly approaching my age (I’m over 40).

There was also a time in my life when I thought that life in the warm glow of the Caribbean sunshine was the only life for me. That is until I got a job managing an eco-resort on the little island of Vieques, where the heat was like a whisper in your ear, constantly talking you out of any motivation you could muster beneath your hot, sticky skin.

This was followed by a stint in Singapore. Eighty-eight degrees. One thousand and ten percent humidity. Every day. I wore sweat-soaked underwear for three years. My poor wife.

Now I live I Prague and for most of the summer we’ve had a really cool temps. I think of it as my reward for all those years down by the equator. This week though, the mercury is bubbling and a sincere, searing summer is bearing down on us. I just got back from the park where there are dozens of white-fleshed people lying all over the grass, sacrificing themselves in the sun. I don’t really get this. Is it really pleasurable to broil in your own sweat in the middle of a lawn where the nearest body of water is scores of miles away? Oh yeah, just gotta love those rivulets of sweat gathering on your cheap bamboo beach mat; those flies that keep you from passing out, even though that would be the sweetest relief from the sun-induced stupor.

I know I should probably enjoy seeing all that flesh on display, but to be frank, a lot of it shouldn’t be on display. And the hardbodies? Well, if it’s a guy, it just makes me feel inadequate and if it’s a girl, it reminds me that I’m not the stud lying a few feet next to her with a hardbody.

Ah summer. When’s the first snowstorm?

(Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll find something not to like about that too.)